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We were working on the field, late one night 

When our eyes beheld an eerie sight

It crept through the grass with no rhyme or reason 

To whisper of the spookiest moments of the season

From last-minute goals, to saves with a dive 

The list could go on, but we’ll give you just five 

Throughout the year, we’ve had many scares 

So if you’d like to relive them…read on if you dare.

Allianz Lake

On a dark and stormy gameday, lightning and rain relentlessly pelted Saint Paul. Allianz Field was caught in the middle of a great and terrible storm that would turn the field itself into a ghoulish lake, with rippling waves and the remnants of a halted game floating on the surface. The U.S. Open Cup match against the Colorado Rapids would be officially postponed after a tornado warning flashed brightly on the jumbotron. The Loons went on to win the game 2-1 in the rescheduled date, but the waves, lightning, and tornado warnings were something out of the Purge, and we are haunted by the thought to this day.

The Haunting of Red Bull Arena

There is a ghost that plagues the halls of Red Bull Arena. You can’t see him or hear him, and as soon as you think you’re safe, think you’re free to find the net, he swoops in and smashes your hopes with one swipe of his paw. Legend has it he once stopped eight shots and one penalty kick in a harrowing battle to victory, crushing his enemies along the way. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not, but there are those who will tell you that, late at night, they can hear the faint sounds of a despairing crowd, and a ball being batted away with a gloved hand.

Player of the Week: Dayne St. Clair Highlights

Kervin Arriaga: the Gash-Wearing Slasher

Horror fans, beware. For there are ghost stories and tales told of things that go bump in the night, but none compare to the terror of Kervin Arriaga: the Gash-Wearing Slasher. Houston Dynamo FC were brave enough – or foolish enough – to go head-to-head with the slasher, and struggle to speak of it to this day. From what’s been gathered, he leaped out of the night, tall and terrible, eyes shining with the blood-curdling screams of fallen footballers. His head was wrapped in bandages, but not as treatment for the gash on his head, no, he wore it as a badge of honor, to prove that while he could be knocked down, he would never be put out, and that there was no point in attempting to rise against him. Houston agrees, muttering but one warning before retreating home: no point in fighting the slash-rearing, sash-bearing, grass-flaring, gash-wearing slasher.


Bongi and Abu Tempt Fate at the State Fair

Bongokuhle Hlongwane and Abu Danladi took on the Minnesota State Fair. Thousands of people poured into the fairgrounds, but few bore witness to the terror of the big slide. With a current survival rate of 100%, the slide strikes fear into the hearts of participants and bystanders alike, but it wasn't the only thing Bongi and Abu faced that day. After narrowly escaping with their lives, the boys would go on to face and conquer the carnival games, fried food, and a 3,000 pound pig??

The Dethloon

It swoops in from the skies with a mighty call, its large talons outstretched, searching for another victim. The Dethloon. To speak of it draws it closer, and if you can hear it, it’s already too late. It has made one known appearance in the Land of the Lakes, bringing with it merciless destruction upon its opponents. No one knows who masters the beast, but they must be powerful indeed. The Dethloon causes those before it to duck and cower, but the true fear lies in the possibility of it resurfacing – without a whisper of a warning.