The Wooden Spoon: the trophy that shouldn’t really be called a trophy. The hallmark of the team with the worst regular-season in MLS. The most shameful of kitchen utensils, in spite of its functionality in stirring pasta.
The San Jose Earthquakes were a shoo-in for the Spoon last season, rounding out their 2024 campaign with the astounding season record of 6-25-3 (WLD) and cementing their spot at the very bottom of the Supporters’ Shield standings. The finish signaled a dire need for change, and that change came in the form of legendary coach Bruce Arena.
We all knew the Quakes would look different this year, with Arena pulling out all the stops to reshape his roster into one that looked like a winning team, but how that would or wouldn’t translate into on-field success was up in the air. The answer has turned out to be a much more competitive, if somewhat middling, squad that is absolutely relentless on the attack — exhibiting sheer aggression in both the lineup and the playstyle. Let’s break it down.
The Stats
I fear this job is slowly turning me into a numbers person, but what can I say? They don’t lie. Arena’s side is seventh in the West, but second only to San Diego in goals scored with a whopping 41 across 21 matches. With 13 regular-season matches left to go, they’ve already drawn level with the number of goals they managed over the course of their entire 2024 season. The Quakes lead the whole league in xG at 41.3 (for reference, Shield leaders Cincinnati are at 26.7). It’s not a stretch to think they might overtake San Diego in the goals-for tally and wind up the top-scoring team of the year.
The Strikers
Who’s responsible for those crazy scoring stats? Fourteen players in total, but three stars in particular. Ten of their goals have come from Chicho Arango, the big-name signing from Real Salt Lake who rounded out last season with 17 goals. He’s got a crazy powerful right-footed strike, as evidenced by this banger in San Jose’s latest Open Cup match. Josef Martínez isn’t far behind with eight goals scored, lethal if you let him in the box. Then you have midfielder Cristian Espinoza, who’s scored four times and is second in the league in assists (11). The three of them together are, for lack of a better word, ridiculous.
The Style
Fourteen different players scoring across the regular season is not only a testament to depth but to Arena’s tactical approach. His midfielders and even defenders tend to be more attack-minded, which does sacrifice substantial strength in the defensive third. San Jose is not the worst team in the league defensively, but they’re nothing to write home about, either. They’ve allowed 33 goals, just barely escaping the league’s top 10 clubs in goals against. The club is low on clean sheets (4) but also low on losses, with an even-keeled road record and an incredible unwillingness to compromise their method of play.
In a July 5 fixture against the New York Red Bulls, the Quakes were playing down a man after two yellows turned into a red for defender DeJuan Jones. Instead of falling back with 10 men and playing a low block like Chicago did against Minnesota on Tuesday night, Arena made a triple substitution and threw three strikers into the mix. That’s a bold statement when the scoreline says 1-1, and the whistle blew on that same 1-1 even after San Jose’s five-man backline went down to four in a crucial last 20 minutes.
San Jose might be a bit of a one-trick pony when it comes to their favorite third of the pitch, but it’s achieving decent results so far, and I’m not inclined to doubt Bruce Arena when he has a vision. I do expect to see the Quakes in the playoffs this season, bestowing that Wooden Spoon on some unfortunate former champion. But of course, while I’m happy to see a living legend restore a historic MLS franchise to relevance, I would be more happy to see Minnesota’s brilliant Black and Blue defense shut down San Jose’s prolific Black and Blue attack this weekend.
